Addressing Dating and Sexual Violence and Harassment in School-Based Health

Posted April 19, 2017 by kvandertuig

Title: Addressing Dating and Sexual Violence and Harassment in School-Based Health

Day/Time: Thursday April 27^th, 3:30pm-5:00pm Pacific

Description: Teens experiencing of relationship abuse are more likely to report unhealthy diet behaviors, engage in substance abuse, and report having suicidal thoughts. Given these sobering facts, adolescent relationship abuse is a major health concern facing teens today, and health care providers have a unique role to play in preventing it. Not only can they provide valuable prevention messages to help their patients build healthy relationships, but medical professionals are also uniquely positioned to help those exposed to abuse access the resources they need.

Clinical settings that serve adolescents in particular, such as confidential teen clinics and school health centers, are strategic sites for adolescent health promotion, prevention, and intervention. Unfortunately, the standard-of-care within adolescent health settings does not currently include specified protocols to assess for or intervene to reduce dating and sexual violence and harassment. This webinar guidelines will provide participants with strategies and tools to provide universal education on safe, consensual and healthy relationships, as well as models for trauma-informed responses to disclosure of DSV.

Learn more about an evidence-based intervention and new community activism tools as Sexual Assault Awareness Month comes to a close!

Watch the recording

Download the slides

Student Voices Safety Card

Speakers:

Erica Monasterio, MN, FNP-BC, Clinical Professor of Pediatrics and Nursing, Division of Adolescent Medicine and Department of Family Health Care Nursing, University of California, San Francisco

Leading with Emotional Intelligence

Posted April 18, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Title: Leading with Emotional Intelligence

Date: April 26, 2017 (90 minutes)

Click here to listen to the recording.

Click here to access the slides.

Click here to access the handouts.

Click here to access a list of additional resources.

Click here to access the captioning script.

Speakers:

Dr. Jarik Conrad, CEO and Certified Emotional Intelligence Expert
Jennifer White, Futures Without Violence (Moderator)

Webinar Description:

Emotional intelligence assists leaders to maximize their own success and support the success of those around them. Regulatory changes, resources constraints, and increasing demand for services are among the many factors that contribute to the increasing stress and uncertainty in the non-profit world. Leaders need equally impressive social and emotional skills to ignite their workforce and staff. Emotional intelligence competencies, such as impulse control, empathy, flexibility, self-awareness, and stress tolerance are what separate great leaders from good leaders. Presenters will discuss how to apply these skills in the daily management of a domestic violence/sexual assault organization.

As a result of this webinar, participants will be better able to:

Build trust and connect better with subordinates, peers, board members, and clients
Communicate more effectively
Lead their teams through high-intensity, high-stress situations
Manage change and transitions effectively
Recognize and embrace diversity & inclusion

Presenters:

Dr. Jarik Conrad presents inspiring workshops and keynotes to thousands of business executives, non-profit leaders, and educators each year. He is a certified Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHR), Society of Human Resources Management Certified Senior Professional (SHRM-CSP), certified intercultural sensitivity expert, and certified emotional intelligence expert. Dr. Conrad is a committed lifelong learner, holding a bachelor’s degree from the University of Illinois, two master’s degrees from Cornell University, and a doctor of education degree from the University of North Florida. Dr. Conrad is the author of the award-winning book, The Fragile Mind: How it has Produced and Unwittingly Perpetuated America’s Tragic Disparities.

This project is supported by Grant No. 2015-TA-AX-K047, awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.

What “Big Little Lies” Got Right About Domestic Violence

Posted April 10, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

I was impressed, and maybe a little surprised, to see that HBO’s breakout mini-series “Big Little Lies” offered big truths when it comes to domestic violence.

The show portrayed a disturbingly violent marriage between a wealthy, privileged couple – Celeste and Perry – played by Nicole Kidman and Alexander Skarsgård.
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Ending Gender-Based Violence in the World of Work

Posted April 7, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Sex- and gender-based violence (GBV) against women in the world of work is an epidemic that requires a systemic response. The purpose of this report is to clearly define GBV, describe its prevalence and explain the circumstances that allow it to persist. The report concludes with recommendations to effectively prevent and address GBV in the workplace.

In partnership with AFL-CIO and the Solidarity Center, download our report: Ending Gender-Based Violence in the World of Work in the United States

#KeepMeSafe

Posted April 3, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

“This will always be the story of my freshman year, the year you chose not to keep me safe, the year you chose him over me.” –High school freshman Tori Burns

Tori Burns should have been enjoying her freshman year at Berkeley High School – but instead she was standing before a crowd of people addressing the School Board members in Berkeley, California.
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ACTIVATE YOUR SCHOOL: How-to-Guide for hosting an Audrie & Daisy Screening at a Local High School

Posted March 30, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Title: ACTIVATE YOUR SCHOOL: How-to-Guide for Hosting a Screening of Audrie & Daisy and Implementing the Lesson Plans in Your High School

Date & Time: Tuesday, April 4th 2017

Speakers:

Daisy and Charlie Coleman, Audrie & Daisy Documentary Film and Co-Founders of SafeBAE
Rachael Smith-Fals, Senior Vice President, Futures Without Violence
Fran Sterling, Partner, Blueshift Education
Jen Sarche, Partner, Blueshift Education

Webinar Description:

Learn how to promote dialogue among students that can help change the school culture. We’ll show you how to secure commitments from school administrators, screen the film, lead discussions, and implement 5 lesson plans in classrooms.

FIGHTING FOR CHANGE: Make Your Voice Heard With Your Elected Officials

Posted March 30, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Title: FIGHTING FOR CHANGE: Make Your Voice Heard With Your Elected Officials

Date & Time: Thursday, March 30th 2017

Speakers:
Kiersten Stewart, Policy Director at Futures Without Violence
Rebecca Levenson, Adult Ally & Consultant, Futures Without Violence

Webinar Description:

Have you seen the tremendous turnout of voters, citizens, and students at the offices of their Congresspersons, Senators, and local elected officials recently? They are listening! We’ll arm you with scripts and tools to arrange student and parent visits/calls to members of congress or your school board. Learn more here about how to express your support for Title IX protections and services for survivors of sexual assault and cyber harassment.

Objective:
As a result of this webinar, participants will be better able to advocate for issues you care about on the federal and local level.

Advice from a Survivor: Asking for Help

Posted March 28, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Help is something that’s hard to ask for. It’s not easy in any way. There is so much fear in asking for help.

I am a survivor of sexual assault and domestic violence. I am successful and have a wonderful family. But my story is quite traumatic. Sometimes I feel that it is too much to even believe. I have overcome so much hurt.
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Violence Against Women and “Honor Killings” Are Used as Justification in Executive Order

Posted March 23, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

President Trump’s most recent executive order on immigration bans immigration from six Muslim-majority countries and reinstates a temporary hold on entry of all refugees for 120 days.

The executive order makes violence against women the focus of data collection and links it as a justification for the travel ban and temporary halting of the refugee settlement program. Specifically, the order calls for the Secretary of Homeland Security to collect information regarding the number and types of acts of gender-based violence against women, including so-called “honor killings,” in the United States by foreign nationals.
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The American Health Care Act Would Undermine Care for Domestic Violence Survivors

Posted March 22, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Victims of domestic and sexual violence need comprehensive health insurance that they can afford. Access to health care, including behavioral and mental health services, is critical for survivors to heal and thrive, and to improving their health outcomes over their lifetimes.

The American Health Care Act would be a dramatic step backwards in health care for survivors. It fails to recognize the unique situations in which survivors seek health insurance and health care. It makes health insurance less affordable by reducing federal financial help and raising premiums. At the same time, it puts decisions about what services to cover in the hands of insurance companies, meaning far fewer services are likely to be covered. This bill would also eliminate and reduce coverage for millions of women on Medicaid.

Makes health insurance more expensive—and increases out-of-pocket expenses

The American Health Care Act eliminates financial help that makes it possible for millions of people to buy plans in the Health Insurance Marketplace. Survivors would pay more out of pocket for their premiums, and even more for a comprehensive benefit package. For non-covered services, survivors would have to pay out of pocket or simply go without.

Eliminates coverage for many low-income survivors

The American Health Care Act eliminates the Medicaid expansion, which has helped millions of low-income survivors access health care through Medicaid. Women who make less than $25,000/year are three times more likely to be victims of domestic violence than women making more than $75,000. These provisions are essential to ensuring that all survivors have genuine access to health care and must be maintained.

Penalizes survivors for not having continuous coverage

The American Health Care Act requires continuous coverage, meaning that you would have to keep your health coverage all the time. The penalty for not having coverage is extreme—plans can charge 30% more in premiums. This would disproportionally harm survivors, who may experience gaps in their health care if an abuser cuts off care without informing the survivor or if crises or unpredictable situations undermine their ability to maintain coverage. These survivors would be charged 30% more because of the actions of an abuser.

Keeps survivors from needed medical and behavioral health services

The American Health Care Act would take away the important guarantees that ALL health plans cover important benefits, including behavioral health services. For Medicaid beneficiaries, the bill specifically eliminates the Essential Health Benefits package. Among the benefits lost would be the requirement that health plans pay for screening and brief counseling for DV/IPV—ensuring that health care providers can be reimbursed for this work. This service is currently required to be provided for free (with no copay or cost-sharing) to survivors.

Health Care Strategies to Help Children Heal from Trauma

Posted March 17, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Health Care Policy and Payment Strategies to Improve Children’s Trauma Services

This guide provides a snapshot on where opportunities exist to make state health policy changes to address the acute and immediate symptoms of trauma for children and youth, as well as the longer term impacts of exposure to violence and abuse across the lifespan. It asks the question: what can we do today, in our state, to make tangible progress to improve the health care system response to children exposed to violence and trauma to prevent or heal the sometimes resulting symptoms of trauma? In what ways can our state advance insurance reform to realize the goals put forth in this recommendation? It makes recommendations to improve child well-being, family stability and community health, and gives specific attention to youth in the juvenile justice system, in foster care, and who are homeless.

No one solution or set of solutions will work in each state. The right solution will vary based on a number of factors including the structure of the state health insurance market, state politics, available funding sources, and the community-level support systems—but this paper shows that not only is it possible to increase access to trauma-informed services for children and caregivers, states are already using Medicaid to do it.

Download (PDF, Unknown)

Expansion of School-Based Health Services in California: An Opportunity for More Trauma-Informed Care for Children

This paper is a brief that describes a new opportunity for California to leverage federal funding to provide physical, mental, and behavioral health services in schools to Medicaid-enrolled students experiencing trauma and violence. It explains a newly approved Medicaid State Plan Amendment (SPA) that allows school districts – known as local education agencies (LEAs) – to access more federal funding for school-based health services. The SPA expands the ability of LEAs to seek federal reimbursement for school-based health services in three important ways: (1) all Medicaid-enrolled children are now covered; (2) more types of services are now covered; and (3) more types of providers are now covered. This brief also provides recommendations for partners on ways to advocate for increased trauma-informed care and services in schools and it lifts up the role of Medicaid as an important source of financing for these services. Trauma-informed care is one strategy to help advance education and health equity and ensure that children and families recover from trauma caused by violence and pervasive bias. Futures Without Violence worked in partnership with the Healthy Schools Campaign to develop this brief.

Download (PDF, Unknown)

Health Care Payment and Delivery System Reform for Children as a Tool to Improve the Health of Vulnerable Communities

This paper urges policymakers to recognize the long-term health, social, and economic benefits of upstream investments for children, including those who have experienced trauma, violence or severe adversity, and to fully include children in health care payment and delivery system reform. This paper examines the reasons children have been left out of current delivery system reform efforts, discusses existing and promising payment reform models and approaches, and makes recommendations for policymakers to develop and scale up payment models that make investments in evidence-based interventions that address the social factors in early childhood that drive long-term health outcomes. Futures Without Violence worked in partnership with Families USA to develop this paper.

Download (PDF, Unknown)

Futures Without Violence Leads Cooperative Effort to Address Domestic Violence and Child Maltreatment

Posted March 17, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

MEDIA CONTACT:
Tracy Tierney, Futures Without Violence
ttierney@futureswithoutviolence.org
415.678.5619

Futures Without Violence Leads Cooperative Effort to Address Domestic Violence and Child Maltreatment

The five-year project aims to improve outcomes for children and families that experience domestic violence and are involved in the child welfare system

SAN FRANCISCO (March 16, 2017) – Futures Without Violence (FUTURES) announced today that it is leading a five-year effort to research, analyze, and identify best practices for improving how child welfare agencies, domestic violence programs and other partners work collaboratively to improve outcomes for families experiencing domestic violence. The collaborative project—the National Quality Improvement Center on Child Welfare Involved Children and Families Experiencing Domestic Violence (QIC-CW/DV)—is funded by a grant from the Children’s Bureau of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

FUTURES will lead the cooperative alongside a group of partners: The Center for the Study of Social Policy, the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, the University of Kansas School of Social Welfare, and the Center for Health & Safety Culture at Montana State University. A National Advisory Committee (NAC) comprised of experts in child welfare and domestic violence research, practice, and policy along with judicial leaders and those experienced in tribal law and practice, racial equity, and early childhood will provide strategic guidance at key points as the QIC-CW/DV is implemented.

“Our ultimate goal is to improve the safety, permanency and well-being of children and their parents who are also experiencing violence.” said Lonna Davis, Director of the Children & Youth Program at FUTURES. “Thanks to our strong coalition of partners, we feel confident the QIC-CW/DV will be smart and strategic, and engage the multiple stakeholders needed to effectively serve families who experience domestic violence.”

Over the next five years, the QIC-CW/DV cooperative will gather, develop, test, and disseminate data on interventions that:

Improve the safety, permanency and well-being of families that are experiencing domestic violence and are involved in the child welfare system
Promote and strengthen collaboration among stakeholders such as child welfare staff, domestic violence advocates, batterer intervention service providers, court professionals, mental health and substance abuse providers, early childhood staff, and law enforcement personnel
Enhance identification and assessment of domestic violence, risk assessment, and decision-making processes within child welfare systems
Identify opportunities and challenges within child welfare systems to enhance capacity in order to sustain changes in practice and policy.

About Futures Without Violence

Futures Without Violence is a health and social justice nonprofit leading groundbreaking educational programs, policies, and campaigns that empower individuals and organizations working to end violence against women and children around the world. Providing leadership from offices in San Francisco, Washington, D.C., and Boston, FUTURES has trained thousands of professionals and advocates—such as doctors, nurses, judges, athletic coaches, and other community influences—on improving responses to violence and abuse. The organization was a driving force behind the passage of the Family Violence Prevention and Services Act in 1984 and the Violence Against Women Act of 1994—the nation’s first two comprehensive federal responses to the violence that plagues families and communities.

QIC-CW/DV National Advisory Committee Members

Christine Calpin, Managing Director, Public Policy, Casey Family Programs

Jacquelyn Campbell, Ph.D, RN, FAAN, Anna D. Wolf Chair, Professor, Johns Hopkins School of Nursing

Julie Collins, VP Practice Excellence, Child Welfare League of America

Karma Cottman, Executive Director, National Center on Violence Against Women in the Black Community

Diane DePanfilis, MSW, Ph.D. Professor, Silberman School of Social Work at Hunter College

Anita Fineday, J.D., Managing Director of Indian Child Welfare Program, Casey Family Programs

Megan Holmes, MSW, Ph.D, Assistant Professor, Case Western Reserve University

Esther Jacobo, Chief Assistant for Operations, Miami-Dade State Attorney

Alicia Lieberman, Ph.D, Director, Child Trauma Research Program, University of California, San Francisco

The Honorable Katherine Lucero, Supervising Judge, Juvenile Justice Courthouse, San Jose, CA

Fernando Mederos, Practitioner, Researcher & Consultant

Allison Metz, Ph.D, Director, National Implementation Research Network

Jessica Nunan, MSW, Executive Director, Caminar Latino, Inc.

Joan Pennell, Ph.D, Director, Center for Family and Community Engagement, NC State University

Joy Ricardo, J.D., Managing Attorney, East Bay Children’s Law Offices

Kristen Selleck, MSW, Independent Consultant on Domestic Violence and Child Abuse

Chris Sullivan, Ph.D, Professor, Michigan State University

Annette Wisk Jacobi, J.D. Director, Family Support & Prevention Service Oklahoma Public Health

Isa Woldeguiorguis, Executive Director, The Center for Hope and Healing, Inc.

Joyce Yedlosky, Team Coordinator, West Virginia Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Terri Yellowhammer, J.D., Indian Child Welfare Center and Appellate Justice for the Mashpee Wampanoag

National Leadership Institute: Changing the Narrative on Campus Gender-Based Violence

Posted March 14, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

In partnership with the Avon Foundation for Women, we launched the National Leadership Institute: Changing the Narrative on Campus Gender-Based Violence with 20 colleges and universities around the country in 2016.

Developed in collaboration with Harvard Law School’s Gender Violence Program and the University of Virginia’s Curry School of Education, the Institute is a two-day, action-oriented leadership program created to help colleges and universities prevent and respond to gender-based violence and sexual assault.

The National Leadership Institute curriculum focuses on four major areas:

1) Fundamentals of gender-based violence and trauma

2) Campus cultures and climate

3) Prevention and education

4) Response, policy, and adjudication

The first National Leadership Institutes were held in late 2016 in Boston, MA and Atlanta, GA. Each participating college and university attended the Institute with a multi-disciplinary team of representatives, including administrators, campus security, service providers, faculty, advocates, Title IX personnel, and student leaders. During the Institute, participants learned and shared best practices on how to respond, using a trauma-informed lens, when an assault occurs. Additionally, each school created a sexual assault prevention and response action plan to implement back on their campuses. FUTURES is supporting the implementation of these plans through training and technical assistance.

Given the overwhelming response from colleges and universities asking to attend the Institute, we are expanding the program in 2017 and are proud to form a growing learning community committed to ending gender-based violence on school campuses.

Case Management Approaches to Support Trafficked Victims/ Survivors of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault

Posted March 14, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Title: Case Management Approaches to Support Trafficked Victims/Survivors of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault

Date: Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Click here to listen to the recording.

Click here to access the slides.

Click here to access a list of resources.

Click here to access the handouts.

Click here to access the closed captioning.

Webinar Description:

Many victims/survivors of human trafficking have also been sexually assaulted or battered by an intimate partner. Therefore, the possibility of a trafficked individuals seeking support from sexual assault and/or domestic violence service providers is high. Effective advocacy and case management to support the unique needs of human trafficking survivors involves collaboration with multiple systems and connections to benefits and resources. The presenters will provide promising case management practices to support trafficked victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.

Presenters:

Perla P. Flores is the Director of the domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking programs at Community Solutions, a non-profit human services agency serving South Santa Clara County and San Benito County in California. Perla is a commissioner on the Santa Clara County Domestic Violence Council and she chairs the South Bay Coalition to End Human Trafficking. Ms. Flores holds a Masters degree in Public Administration and was a recipient of the 2010 California Peace Prize.

Erica Elliott is the Program Manager for Sexual Assault, Prevention, and Sexually Exploited Minors at Community Solutions. Prior to Community Solutions, Erica worked in Santa Clara County Juvenile Hall for 10 years as a Senior Group Counselor. In 2011, Erica began the CSEC Workgroup in Santa Clara County which has helped develop protocols, inform policies, and provided education and trainings to professionals in Santa Clara County. She is passionate about working with youth, especially teens. Erica has a B.A. in Sociology and a Master’s Degree in Social Work from San Jose State University.

If you have any questions, please email Eesha Bhave at ebhave@futureswithoutviolence.org.

This project is supported by Grant No. 2015-TA-AX-K029, awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.

Don’t let health bill harm domestic violence victims

Posted March 13, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

This piece was originally distributed by Tribune News Service and appeared in The Charlotte Observer.

As leaders of three national organizations working to end domestic violence in the U.S., we know the importance of high-quality, comprehensive health insurance that is guaranteed and affordable. Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, or ACA, survivors of domestic violence and children who have been traumatized by violence have access to health insurance that covers the medical and behavioral health services they need immediately after an assault and over their lifetimes.
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Uber Isn’t Unique When It Comes to Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

Posted March 3, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Shock, dismay, anger – my social media was buzzing about the personal accounts of two former Uber employees detailing their stories of the gender discrimination and sexual harassment they faced at the prestigious tech company. But it was an all too familiar story for me: the sexually inappropriate advances, the silent bystanders, a vindictive manager, the victim-blaming, a complicit workplace culture of gender inequality, and an employer’s lack of effective actions to address or prevent the problem.

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This is What Youth Activism Looks Like

Posted February 27, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

If there is one thing that every kid in America has always been told it’s that adults know better. This attitude is even the law of the land: a citizen is not officially a citizen until they are 18 and can vote. This messaging is enough for many youth to believe they are powerless.

But that would ignore the clear evidence that young people—youth activists in particular—are vital in shaping their communities, using a diversity of tactics such as petitioning, walkouts, litigation, lobbying, sit-ins, protests, letter-writing campaigns, and media pressure to create change.
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Take 2 Minutes to Help Prevent Sexual Assault in Schools

Posted February 15, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

UPDATE: This campaign has now ended. Thank you for your support and activism!

In support of End Rape on Campus’ #DearBetsy campaign, today we’re joining a national day of action to ensure newly appointed Department of Education Secretary Betsy DeVos prioritizes Title IX.

Title IX is a federal law that requires schools receiving federal funding to address sexual violence and harassment, and respond to survivors’ needs in order to ensure that all students have equal access to education.
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A Cross-Sector Model for Addressing Gender-Based Violence Impacting the Workplace

Posted February 6, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Title: A Cross-Sector Model for Addressing Gender-Based Violence Impacting the Workplace

Date Recorded: November 16, 2016

Click here to access the slides. Click here to access the closed captioning transcript. Click here to access the recording.

Description: Many of us spend more time working than any other waking activity. With millions of individuals experiencing domestic violence, sexual abuse, and stalking each year, the workplace presents a critical juncture for responding to gender-based violence and building systems that help protect and support victims/survivors of violence and exploitation. If we don’t confront these issues in the context of work, we are missing a significant entry point to disrupt the violence experienced by individuals, and provide them with the resources necessary to move from victim to survivor. Learn more about how to collaboratively address the impacts of violence in the workplace and engage other community partners, including employers, other service providers, and workers’ rights organizations. Futures Without Violence has piloted this collaborative model, and along with project partners, will share valuable lessons learned and advice on how to implement a similar program in your own communities.

Objectives:
By the end of this webinar participants will be better able to:

Identify the ways that domestic and sexual violence (DV/SV) and stalking impact the workplace.
Describe the ways that employers can effectively and proactively respond to incidents of workplace violence (DV/SV/Stalking) that promote a victim-centered approach and accountability for employees who are perpetrators.
Explore a collaboration between community stakeholders to address the impacts of violence.

Speakers: Leslie Hott, HR Manager, St. Joseph Medical Center; Gail Reid, Director of Advocacy, TurnAround, Inc.; Sarah Sullivan, Training Institute, Coordinator, House of Ruth Maryland; Lisa Kim, Senior Program Specialist, Futures Without Violence

Collaborating to Address the Needs of Trafficked Survivors with Disabilities

Posted February 6, 2017 by marenas

Title: Collaborating to Address the Needs of Trafficked Survivors with Disabilities

Date: January 19, 2017

Click here to access the slides.

Click here to access a list of resources.

Click here to access the closed captioning.

Webinar Description:

Various risk factors put individuals with disabilities at risk of domestic violence, sexual violence, and all forms of human trafficking. This webinar will discuss these factors and also consider the intersection of the trafficking of persons with disabilities with domestic and sexual violence. The panelists explore how domestic violence and sexual assault agencies and human trafficking task forces can collaborate with disability rights organizations to address the unique needs of survivors of trafficking with disabilities.

Objectives:

As a result of this webinar, participants will be better able to:

Recognize the risk factors for individuals with disabilities to different forms of human trafficking.
Employ disability-related accommodations and techniques that may be required when working with survivors of human trafficking with disabilities.
Identify strategies for collaboration between and among domestic violence and sexual assault service providers, legal service providers, and disability rights organizations to support survivors of human trafficking with disabilities.

Presenters:

Katie J. Spielman, Esq. Disability Rights California & Cindy C. Liou, Esq.

If you have any questions, please email Monica Arenas at: marenas@futureswithoutviolence.org.

This project was supported by Grant No. 2015-TA-AX-K029, awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.

5 Signs of a Healthy Teen Relationship

Posted February 1, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

You’d be hard pressed to find a teen who isn’t glued to their smartphone these days. But what about that teen who’s being bombarded with text messages from a significant other – is that just normal behavior or perhaps a sign of “textual harassment”?

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, and despite startling statistics—such as nearly 60 percent of teens know someone who has been physically, sexually, or verbally abusive in a dating relationship—the good news is that adults can play a role in encouraging healthy dating behavior.
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What’s the Dish?: Teen DV Month Last Minute Call to Action Menu

Posted February 1, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Date: This event has already occurred. Access a recording of it or a PDF of the slides.

Description:

Calling all procrastinators! Not yet sure yet what you will be doing with your school, community, or your young people for Teen DV Month?

We’ve got you covered.

That’s Not Cool has partnered with Break the Cycle, and loveisrespect to present you with our full menu of planned events, activities, tools, and content.

We are excited to partner with local groups and organizations to organize, spread awareness, participate in, and share each other’s work to lift up and empower youth voices. Join us for our webinar ‘What’s the Dish?: Teen DV Month Last Minute Call to Action Menu’ to prepare for a month of raising awareness of teen dating violence and celebrating healthy relationships!

Access the recording here.
Access the pdf of the slides here.
That’s Not Cool TDVAM Calendar here.
loveisrepect TDVAM Calendar here.
Break the Cycle TDVAM Calendar here.

Demand Congress Save Health Care for Victims of Violence

Posted January 31, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

More than 8.8 million Americans have already signed up for 2017 health care through the federal marketplace. That’s 100,000 more than last year.

A repeal of the Affordable Care Act without a replacement would be devastating to American families and, in particular, victims of domestic violence and sexual assault and their children.

Last week, constituents turned out in force all over the country to personally express their support for the Affordable Care Act. From New York, to Texas, to California, citizens crowded into the offices of local congressional staffers and made a big impression. But we need to keep it up – as the repeal without reform is still looking possible.
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The Local Fight to End Human Trafficking

Posted January 27, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Before FUTURES, I worked in a legal services office in a rural community along California’s Central Coast. It reminded me of the town I’m from—rural enough that you’re surrounded by fields of vegetables and fruits, but close enough to the city that it’s still impacted by the increased cost of living in more urban areas.

Too often we think of trafficking as a crime that occurs in other places—not in my neighborhood, not to my customers, not in the town I work. The reality is 21 million people are trafficked globally, according to the International Labour Organization. It can occur in any community—in rural communities, in the suburbs, in big cities, and in the towns in between—regardless of race or socioeconomic factors.
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Pink Hats and a Teachable Moment

Posted January 24, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

“Why is everyone wearing a pink hat?” the woman asked me as she walked next to me. We were both walking in the same direction toward the National Mall in Washington D.C.

I eyed the young teenager that accompanied her—her daughter, I presumed—and struggled to find the words to explain the significance of the sea of pink hats on the heads of so many women (and men) before the start of the Women’s March on Washington this past weekend. My own hat was a hot-pink knitted number, adorned with cat ears.
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Intimate Partner Violence and Pregnancy

Posted January 18, 2017 by Anisa Ali

Title: Intimate Partner Violence and Pregnancy

Date: January 18, 2017 from 10:00-11:30 am PST

Learning Objectives:

Describe the characteristics of IPV
Recognize the prevalence of IPV and its impact on pregnancy (and the impact of pregnancy on IPV)
Learn the important role of health care workers and domestic violence advocates in helping survivors
Identify potential local and national partnerships

Speaker: Dr. Diana Cheng, MD; Women’s Health Consultant; Fellow, American Congress of Obstetricians & Gynecologists (FACOG)
Access the pdf of the slides here.

3 Things at Stake for Domestic Violence Survivors if Obamacare is Repealed

Posted January 10, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Let’s face facts. The incoming administration has said that repealing the Affordable Care Act (ACA), will be its “first order of business” once President-elect Donald Trump is sworn into office on Jan. 20.

Repealing the law, or even key provisions of it, would seriously affect the millions Americans insured under it. And of those millions who are survivors of domestic violence, the impact could be harrowing.
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Trauma-Informed Approaches to Working with Immigrant Children

Posted January 9, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Title: Trauma-Informed Approaches to Working with Immigrant Children

Date Recorded: September 27th, 2016

Description: This webinar is designed for anyone working with children who have experienced trauma who wish to understand the experience, needs and options of immigrant children who have recently entered the United States fleeing violence in their homelands. Presenters will explore the history of trauma for immigrant children, identify unique challenges and provide responsive solutions to addressing the needs of immigrant children.

Learning Objectives:

As a result of this webinar you will:

Understand how the history and nature of the trauma immigrant children have experienced may inform your work with them

Recognize additional barriers they may need to overcome to successfully access your help

Identify ways you can implement what you’ve learned in your work with immigrant children

Presenters:

Giselle A. Hass, Psy.D., ABAP
Jennifer Podkul, Policy Director, Kids in Need of Defense (KIND)
Gail Pendleton, Executive Director, ASISTA Immigration Assistance

Questions? Please email Mie Fukuda at mfukuda@futureswithoutviolence.org.

This project was supported by Grant No. 2011-MU-MU-K011 awarded by the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. Points of view in this document are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official positions or policies of the U.S. Department of Justice.

Context and Practice: Trauma-Informed Approaches to Building Affirming Environments for LGBTQ + Youth

Posted January 9, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Title: Context and Practice: Trauma-Informed Approaches to Building Affirming Environments for LGBTQ+ Youth

Date Recorded: August 24, 2016

Click here to access the slides.
Click here to access the webinar.
Download the closed captioning transcript.

Additional Resources:

Description: In this workshop, participants will explore the identities and experiences of LGBTQ+ youth who face a variety of structural and interpersonal traumas. We will provide a brief overview of LGBTQ+ youth inequities, and explore the challenges of domestic violence in LGBTQ+ communities along with its impact on youth. We will conclude by sharing the benefits of trauma-informed care for LGBTQ+ youth and share approaches that can be used in participants’ daily programming and care efforts.

Learning Objectives:
By the end of this webinar participants will be better able to:

Increase knowledge of LGBTQ youth identities and structural realities
Share perspective on unique challenges of domestic violence in LGBTQ communities
Address the impact of domestic violence on children and youth
Introduce a trauma informed care approach for supporting LGBTQ youth

Presenters:

Martel Okonji, Youth Development Coordinator, Children, Youth & Family Services, Los Angeles LGBT Center
Devika Shankar, Program Coordinator, Family Violence Intervention Services, Los Angeles LGBT Center
Krystal Torres-Covarrubias, OUT for Safe Schools™ Coordinator, Public Policy, Los Angeles LGBT Center

.
Questions? Please contact Mie Fukuda at mfukuda@futureswithoutviolence.org

This project was supported by Grant No. 2011-MU-MU-K011 awarded by the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. Points of view in this document are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official positions or policies of the U.S. Department of Justice

Assessing Trauma-Informed Practice: Lessons Learned From a Trauma Audit

Posted January 9, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

Title: Assessing Trauma-Informed Practice: Lessons Learned From a Trauma Audit

Date Recorded: Thursday, July 28, 2016

Click here to access the slides.

Click here to access the Webinar.

Download additional resources.

The presenters will discuss the importance of developing trauma-informed environments (including policy and practice reform). They will share information learned from trauma audits of juvenile and family courts around the nation.

Learning Objectives:
By the end of this webinar participants will be better able to:

Discuss how trauma impacts the lives of children, youth and families
Describe how the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges (NCJFCJ) has assessed the courts for trauma-informed practice
Share resources on trauma-informed practice (including an info-graphic developed in collaboration with Futures Without Violence)

Presenter:

Carlene Gonzalez, PhD, Senior Policy Analyst in the Family Violence and Domestic Relations (FVDR) department at the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges
Malrie Shelton, MSSW, LCSW, Defending Childhood Initiative (DCI), Network for Overcoming Violence and Abuse (NOVA)Questions? Please contact Mie Fukuda at mfukuda@futureswithoutviolence.org
.
Adobe Connect Requirements:Please Note: Adobe Connect webinar platform requires Adobe Flash Player. To run a Adobe Connect connection test on your device, please click on this link: http://admin.adobeconnect.com/common/help/en/support/meeting_test.htmAudio Capacity:

Registrants may listen to the webinar through their computer speakers or by dialing into our conference line (Line and passcode will be provided upon registration). The conference line is limited to 300 audio lines, therefore, can accomodate the first 300 attendees who call in. If all audio lines are being utilized, please listen to the webinar through your computer speakers.

This project was supported by Grant No. 2011-MU-MU-K011 awarded by the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. Points of view in this document are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official positions or policies of the U.S. Department of Justice.

FUTURES Testifies on Need to Address Women, Gender when fighting Violent Extremism

Posted January 9, 2017 by Kyle Coleman

FUTURES Senior Policy Advocate Leila Milani spoke to a packed congressional meeting room November 3 on ways to reduce violent extremism and promote women’s rights and safety. The Congressional Briefing: “Countering Violent Extremism: Where are the Women?” hosted by Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee and organized by the International Foundation for Electoral Systems (IFES), brought together experts and congressional staff to discuss the role of women in countering violent extremism (CVE), and the need to modify US policy.

The event explored the ways women are affected by violent extremism, such as murder, rape and being given or sold to fighters who join the cause, as well as how women are often untapped resources in preventing violence and radicalization. The panelists also encouraged the audience to understand the importance of gender roles and norms in driving violence and extremism, and suggested gender-informed strategies to improve the global response to ideologically motivated violence. As quoted from the US National Action Plan on Women, Peace and Security, “a narrow understanding of women’s roles in CVE limits policy options and perpetuates strategic blind spots, such as failing to recognize women’s agency as potential mitigators and perpetrators of violence and ‘securitizing’ women’s roles in CVE.”

Panelists also included Kathleen Kuehnast, Senior Gender Advisor and Candace Rondeaux, Senior Program Officer at the United States Institute of Peace, Sanam Naraghi-Anderlini, Co-Founder and Executive Director at International Civil Society Action Network, and our Senior International Policy Advocate, Leila Milani.

As countries expend resources to counter the scourge of violent extremism, it is essential that those interventions be evaluated, according to Leila Milani. Sanam Naraghi-Anderlini also stated that although prevention is hard to measure, we must not let that difficulty discourage us from investing in prevention.

Milani highlighted the need for our policies to better understand the link between the security of women and the security of states.

One key common denominator among extremist groups is that as they increase their influence in a territory they simultaneously increase strategic attacks on women’s rights and freedoms, leading to a notable decrease in women’s ability to move freely, engage in public life, access education and employment and enjoy health services. As much as the subordination of women is at the forefront of violent extremists’ strategy, advancing gender equality has not become a cornerstone of the architecture of response. In fact our reactive response to violent extremism has shifted much of our energy toward military and technological strategies and away from development and human rights initiatives which directly impact the strengthening of the community in general and women in particular.

Also highlighted during the event was research by Valerie Hudson’s that sets forth empirical data supporting the finding that “the very best predictor of a state’s peacefulness is not its level of wealth, it’s level of democracy, or its ethno-religious identity; … rather it is how well its women are treated.” The absence of a serious consideration of the situation of women in discussions surrounding security and conflict and aimed at developing effective government strategies and policies must be remedied.

For more details, see:

ROLE OF WOMEN INCOUNTERING/PREVENTING VIOLENT EXTREMISM

THE SECURITY OF WOMEN AND NATIONS

Holidays can be stressful for kids who witness domestic violence

Posted December 21, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

“It was the day after Thanksgiving last year, when I walked into the room to find a six-year-old boy, screaming at the top of his lungs while curled into a ball against the far wall. Other children had left the room due to the noise, and I tried to interact with him to let him know he was okay and safe. However, I quickly realized that my attempts to help him were hurting him more. He was reliving the trauma of a domestic violence situation that was described as physical and severe.”

My friend Caitlyn (pictured) recently shared that indelible memory with me, one of several that has stayed with her amidst the work she does at the Children’s Receiving Home of Sacramento.

“That little boy was really hurting, and needed space,” continues Caitlyn. “I informed the other staff members before going into the bathroom and bursting into tears.”

“The holidays are hard for so many reasons. Sadly, a time that should be magical and capture everything great about childhood can traumatic for some. I do everything I can to be a positive part of a very dark experience, and so much of that comes from understanding that children need to process trauma in many different ways.”

During her time at the Receiving Home, holidays have been by far the busiest time of year. Caitlyn also added that she witnessed more dramatic and extreme emotions from children at that time.

“Whenever parents are home for extended periods of time, such as a holiday weekend, the receiving home experiences an influx of child removals,” adds Caitlyn, “This can happen when abusive parents are home with their children for extended periods, there is more time for tensions to rise, and less available space for ‘cooling down’.”

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, two-thirds of America’s children are exposed to violence and trauma in their homes, schools and communities each year. That’s why we recently launched Changing Minds, a national campaign designed to transform public attitudes about children’s exposure to violence and the corrosive effects of trauma on healthy brain development. New and evolving brain science reveals that a child’s positive and negative experiences can literally shape and reshape the brain.

Futures Without Violence, the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ), and the Ad Council have developed this campaign to raise awareness of childhood exposure to violence and motivate adults who regularly interact with children (grades K-8) to take meaningful action in supporting children who may be affected. We hope you’ll take a look: www.ChangingMindsNow.org

Collaborating to Address Trafficking in Rural Communities: Lessons from the Field

Posted December 19, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

Title: Collaborating to Address Trafficking in Rural Communities: Lessons from the Field

Date: December 1, 2016

Click here to listen to the recording.

Click here to access the slides.
Click here to access the handouts.

Click here to access the closed caption transcript.
Click here for links to resources on anti-human trafficking.

Webinar description:

Effectively addressing trafficking in rural communities requires creative solutions and cross-sector collaborations. Domestic violence and sexual assault service providers can play a critical role in these collaborations. The panelists discuss several promising approaches to building effective collaborations to address trafficking in rural communities.

As a result of this webinar, participants will be better able to:

· Describe the unique needs of trafficked survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault in rural communities.

· Highlight the benefits of collaborating with community-based organizations to address human trafficking in rural communities.

· Identify examples of existing cross-sector collaborative anti-trafficking models in rural North Dakota and Florida.

Presenters:

Ana Vallejo, Co-Director and attorney at VIDA Legal Assistance, Inc.

Christina Sambor, Coordinator of FUSE-statewide anti-trafficking coalition in North Dakota, the Director of the ND Human Trafficking Task Force, and co-chair of the ND Attorney General’s Human Trafficking Commission

If you have any questions, please email Monica Arenas at marenas@futureswithoutviolence.org.

This project was supported by Grant No. 2015-TA-AX-K029, awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.

Trauma-Informed Care for Refugees and Children

Posted December 16, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

Title: Trauma-Informed Care for Refugees and Children

Date Recorded: November 16, 2016

Click here to access the slides. Click here to access the recording.
To access additional information,visit NHCVA.org.

Objectives:
By the end of this webinar participants will be better able to:

Examine the effects of trauma on immigrant children
Discuss mental health screening of immigrant children
Learn how to utilize the medical home/care coordination models to more effectively meet the unique needs of immigrant children and families.

Speakers:
Andrea Green, MD, Director of the Pediatric New American Clinic at UVM Children’s Hospital
Cathleen Kelley, MSW, LCSW, Pediatric New American Clinic at UVM Children’s Hospital

Legal Aspects of Human Trafficking for Health Providers

Posted December 16, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

Title: Legal Aspects of Human Trafficking for Health Providers

Date Recorded: October 20, 2016

Click here to access the slides. Click here to access the recording.

Description: This webinar will provide health care providers with insight into the legal remedies available to human trafficking victims. Each year, thousands of men, women, and children are held in forced labor, forced prostitution, and the commercial sexual exploitation of children. This webinar will explore the role health care providers can play in identifying trafficking victims, providing documentation, developing expert testimony, and providing affidavits for submission in legal cases. The program will cover both US citizen and foreign-born victims trafficked in the United States. Presenters will use case studies to discuss trafficking victims’ contact with the providers, including missed opportunities when victims might have been identified but were not. The speakers, both attorneys, have more than three decades of combined experience in the human trafficking field.

Objectives:
By the end of this webinar participants will be better able to:

Identify legal remedies – immigration, civil, and criminal – available to trafficking victims in the United States.
Define the critical role that healthcare providers can play in identifying victims, providing documentation, developing expert testimony, and providing affidavits for submission in legal cases.
Identify human trafficking red flags through case examples of victims seeking medical care.

Speakers: Stephanie Richard, JD, Hanni Stoklosa, MD, Martina Vandenberg, JD

2017 NCHDV Call for Abstracts: Ask the Experts

Posted December 15, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

Title: 2017 NCHDV Call for Abstracts: Ask the Experts

Date Recorded: November 17, 2016

Click here to access the slides. Click here to listen to the recording.

The 2017 National Conference on Health and Domestic Violence will highlight the innovative work being done across the U.S. and beyond to address the intersecting issues of health, domestic/sexual violence (D/SV) and violence as a social determinant of health. Conference organizers are now soliciting abstract submissions from the field that highlight research reports, practice innovations, advocacy initiatives, educational advances, and/or community programs that address health and D/SV. Are you interested in presenting your work at the NCHDV and want to learn more? Join three Conference Steering Committee Members and a FUTURES staff member to learn the elements of writing a great conference abstract with time for Q/A. Presenters will highlight the conference goals; submission categories; online submission tech tips, and adult learner strategies.

The Conference will be held at the San Francisco Marriott Marquis Hotel on Sept 26-28, 2017 and attracts the nation’s leading medical, public health and family violence experts from across the U.S. with increased international participation. The last 2015 Conference included more than 1,100 attendees, 350 speakers, 75 workshop and 25 exhibitors! The deadline to submit a 2017 abstract for presentation at the Conference is January 13^th, 2017. Learn more www.nchdv.org

Presenters (Steering Committee Members):

Elaine Alpert. MD, MPH
Liza Eshilian-Oates, MD
Theresa Friend, CNM, MSN
Anna Marjavi (Futures Without Violence)

Beyond Ailes: What Locker Room Talk Tells Us About Sexual Harassment in the TV Industry

Posted December 8, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

I would be rightfully fired if I encouraged, permitted, or participated in the crass sexual harassment of a co-worker or any woman at the workplace in the same manner as Billy Bush’s recently revealed mistreatment of Nancy O’Dell and Arianne Zucker in 2005. And if I knew of any co-worker speaking of women in that manner or permitting talk approving of sexual assault, I would report them and would expect their swift termination. Nearly every workplace has a sexual harassment policy; but as we saw with the recent revelations at Fox News, sometimes written policies are not enough to combat a workplace culture that fosters the sexual objectification and harassment of women.

For nearly 16 years, Zucker has portrayed a character on Days of Our Lives. Zucker was at her workplace when Bush permitted and joined in on crude sexual harassment of both Zucker and O’Dell, his former Access Hollywood co-host.

It broke my heart to watch Bush ask Zucker for hugs moments after ogling at her and gleefully engaging in sexual assault talk by bragging about the things famous men think they can do to women without asking for permission. Bush then proceeded to overtly sexually harass Zucker by asking inappropriate questions that Zucker uncomfortably attempted to avoid answering, including “if you had to choose, honestly, between one of us… who would it be?”

Women don’t have to be within hearing range to be victimized by sexual harassment and other inappropriate sexual misconduct. Men who purport to “joke” about women, their bodies and sexuality behind their backs lay the foundation for a hostile work environment where boundaries become increasingly blurred. Conduct that creates a hostile work environment is illegal for many reasons, including the risk that casual suggestions signifying approval of touching women without their permission, especially made by an authority figure, can perversely encourage such assaults.

This is especially problematic in industries where harassment is prevalent, physical appearance is prioritized, and the reporting of incidents can cause severe career consequences. Just as inappropriate demands were made of the appearance and dress of female anchors at Fox News, the comments about O’Dell and Zucker zeroed in on their looks and attire. No written policy can counteract a workplace culture where “selling sex” is a higher priority than the fundamental respect for the safety of women employees. That’s why a sincere impetus to broadly shift workplace culture must underlie policies addressing sexual harassment and the impacts of all forms of gender-based violence in the workplace. NBC has an opportunity to enhance its policies while leading the news and entertainment industry in broadly advancing an industry-wide culture shift towards safety and respect for all employees, women included.

I’m grateful that my mother exhibited to me by her example that women are equal and don’t need to be revered, put on a pedestal, and protected as if they can’t care for themselves. Rather, I learned that women are entitled to the same respect in the workplace as men, and I have a responsibility to lead other men by example in respecting everyone equally and speaking out when I witness inappropriate banter and misconduct. Few industry leaders are better positioned than those in news and entertainment to bring those timeless lessons back into style, and I hope that NBC seizes on this opportunity.

Thankful for the Heroines Who Are Gone but Not Forgotten

Posted December 8, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women was started in 1999 to commemorate the Mirabal sisters, political activists in the Dominican Republic who were assassinated in 1960 for opposing dictator Rafael Trujillo. It was a tragic but fitting beginning to an important day that marks the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence campaign, and aims to raise public awareness and mobilize people everywhere to bring about change.

It’s estimated that around the world at least one woman in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Women activists continue to be targeted and killed for simply daring to speak up against injustice and for what they believe in. This must stop.

Yesterday, most of us in the U.S celebrated Thanksgiving– a holiday that inspires families coming together, eating a meal, and giving thanks for all that we have. Today, we highlight four activists, but remember and honor women all over the world who have died fighting for social justice—women whose death have left a permanent, empty seat at their loved one’s dinner tables and hearts. For if we are to stop the violence, we must remember the fallen and lift the voices of those who no longer can.

Juana Quispe, an indigenous woman and Council Member in Bolivia had been victim of political harassment before being murdered in March 2012. Her murder – one of a series of violent attacks against elected female leaders across Bolivia – sparked nationwide protests and led to the adoption of a long-delayed law to tackle the issue of political harassment.

Francela Méndez Rodríguez, a transgender human rights defender was murdered in the Las Palmeras area of the city of Sonsonate, El Salvador in May 2015. Francela was a human rights activist who worked daily with Colectivo Alejandría, an organization that advocates for the rights of gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people in El Salvador.

Sabeen Mahmud was one of the Pakistan’s most outspoken human rights advocates. She had long championed the cause of Balochistan’s “disappeared,” a term used to describe people who have been abducted in Balochistan, with their bodies often found years later. In April, 2015, she was shot dead immediately after an event she organised with Mama Abdul Qadeer, an elderly Baloch activist campaigning on behalf of so-called “missing people.”

Anna Politkovskaya was a Russian journalist, writer and human rights activist. She was shot and killed on October, 2006. She was known for denouncing the government of Russian Pres. Vladimir Putin for corruption and human rights abuses, particularly in regard to alleged atrocities committed by Russian troops during the Chechen war of secession.

FUTURES Has a New Resource That May Work For You!

Posted December 6, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

When I first met Ari, we were freshman in college- bright eyed and ready for a big adventure. We were excited about our first tastes of adult life- whatever we thought that meant.

Ari was excited to move away from her hometown to the San Francisco bay area, where she thought she could finally connect with a community, and maybe even meet a cute girl. She was so inspired to do this that she created a Pride club on our campus.

But by the end of our freshman year we had both changed tremendously, and much of the light inside Ari had been extinguished. So much of that change can be attributed to the cute girl she did end up meeting, Kate*.

Kate was not in a good place in her life. She was suffering from an untreated mental health concern and a drinking problem. Unfortunately, Ari was the type of person who thought she could help anyone, and definitely wouldn’t give up on someone she loved. This left Ari vulnerable, and she eventually became Kate’s emotional punching bag.

Because of the weight of this emotional abuse, Ari’s confidence suffered, and she became depressed. She couldn’t get the resources she needed, and she found it unbelievably difficult to leave Kate without leaving the entire city. She ended up withdrawing from our university and moving back home.

Ari is not alone, even though she probably felt like it. Unfortunately, the LGB community experiences intimate partner violence at rates higher than the general population. According to CDC data, 35% of heterosexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, but this figure is much higher from lesbian women (44%) and bisexual women (61%).

There are not enough resources available to help LGBTQ people like Ari, but there are great organizations who do work hard to bridge this gap. FUTURES chose to take part in this effort by working with The Northwest Network, the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association, and FORGE, to create mindful Transgender/Gender Non-Conforming and LGB specific health cards that can be used to identify an abusive or unhealthy LGBTQ relationship, and provide useful resources for seeking help.

Today, Ari is in a much better place- because she was finally able to connect with organizations and resources that could help empower and heal her. She now lives in LA, and works for the Los Angeles LGBT center to help other LGBTQ youth find their voice. She specifically works on a program called “CAN” which stands for the Community Action Network, and shared a bit of her experience,

“Being a member of CAN has been a beautiful journey that has strengthened my love for LGBTQ activism, created fulfilling relationships, and positively impacted myself and the world around me. Helping and supporting youth is special to me because it’s something I wish I had more of when I was younger. Doing educational workshops and trainings for adult and youth allies can be just as rewarding because it starts an important conversation that doesn’t happen as often as it should. I am an avid believer that education and awareness is the first step towards change and I am grateful to have found CAN and be doing just that!”

The organization Ari works for, the Los Angeles LGBT center, actually partnered with us in designing our Trans and LGBT specific health cards. We hope these cards aid medical professionals and other activists like Ari in helping youth escape violent and unhealthy relationships.

If you are an LGBTQ and/or GNC individual and believe you may be in an unsafe environment or an abusive relationship, please reach out to these resources: National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-787-3224; The Trevor Project 866-488-7386. Additionally, FORGE offers safety planning for transgendered survivors on their website here.

*Names have been changed to protect privacy

Celebrate VAWA’s 22 Years of Empowering Women with Esta Soler’s Inspiring TED Talk

Posted December 6, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

This week marks the 22^nd anniversary of the Violence Against Women Act, landmark legislation that has drastically changed how society views domestic, sexual, and family violence. Previous to this shift in culture, most legislators thought of the issue of domestic violence as a private family matter. In fact, in 1984, one congressman referred to similar legislation as the “Take the Fun out of Marriage Act”. It took years of unrelenting effort, but the Violence Against Women Act finally became law in 1994.

In her popular TEDTalk,” How We Turned the Tide of Domestic Violence,.” FUTURES Founder and President Esta Soler speaks to the role that she and fellow activists played in pushing the Violence Against Women Act from an idea to game-changing legislation.

Esta’s talk has been seen all over the world – and has attracted almost ONE MILLION viewers! Watch her talk below and you can help us climb the digital mountain to reach the One Million Viewer Milestone. Please pass it on!

What I learned from leading a girls empowerment group in Zambia

Posted December 6, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

I was a community development volunteer in rural Zambia for almost four years. One of my roles was to facilitate youth empowerment sessions, which involved hosting a weekly girls club meeting at the local school. These girls were in the American school-equivalent of middle school, but their ages varied drastically. I was tasked with the intimidating job of facilitating discussions about relevant and applicable life-skills topics for girls at very different stages of their lives.

“Empowerment” was a term I thought I understood until I had to teach about it.

Operating under the assumption that I was an empowered woman myself, I thought that facilitating a girls’ empowerment group, even in rural Zambia, would be relatively easy. Once girls knew they had the right to prioritize themselves, their health and their future, they just would.

But as I quickly learned, the reality that my students were operating under was much more complex than I could have expected, and in the end, I may have learned more about empowerment than they did.

Personal empowerment doesn’t exist in a bubble. It can be taught and discussed in the safety of a classroom, but the unpredictability of the real world often results in unforeseen challenges that can, at times, seem overwhelming or insurmountable. These barriers don’t make empowerment impossible, but they do pose a serious question:

How do you teach people to make the best choices for themselves when the best choices aren’t an option?

School attendance was a victory. Family obligations, chores and health issues limited regular attendance. Financial limitations meant some families had to stop sending their daughters to school altogether while other girls would have to drop out early due to pregnancy or marriage. However, most of the girls loved school — the decision to leave was often not their own.

I wanted to tell these young women in my girls’ group that they could do anything they wanted with their lives and that their futures were limitless. But, sadly, that was not the reality. Gender inequality, extreme poverty, and cultural expectations often held them back. For the girls who weren’t allowed choices, my big idealistic views of empowerment were alienating. If a girl was forced into early marriage, I didn’t want her to think it was her fault. If a girl had to drop out of school to fulfill her family obligations, I didn’t want her to blame herself. If she wasn’t able to do anything and everything she wanted with her life, I didn’t want that to diminish her self-worth.

I started to change my message. It was a simple message but one that I thought gave the girls a truer sense of power: “You are important.”

These girls needed to realize that they were valuable and that they mattered, even if they did not have the ability or resources to improve their situations. External factors should not dictate their internal validity. These girls had to learn to recognize the value of their own lives and own futures even if others did not.

I learned that empowerment is a process. It happens at a societal level, but it starts with the individual. Empowerment does not mean having a choice in everything. It means finding where your choice in everything is.

Reshma Quereshi: A Powerful Advocate of New York Fashion Week

Posted December 6, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

Reshma Bano Qureshi, a teenager from India, walked for a cause this year at New York Fashion Week. Qureshi looked gorgeous as she walked in FTL Moda’s shows: Kochhar and Vaishali Couture. The new model was invited to walk in the shows a few months ago, and her reaction is captured in a heart-warming video. Reshma’s travels to the United States mark the first time she has ever left her home country of India.

Reshma walked to end the accessible sale of acid in India. As the face of the charitable organization Make Love Not Scars, this cause is very close to Reshma’s heart.

Reshma survived an acid attack by her brother-in-law in 2014, when he mistook her for her older sister (his wife). Despite the hardships that followed, she persevered, and became a recognizable advocate and an international change maker.

As an ambassador for Make Love Not Scars, Reshma advocates for removing acid from the market and making it more difficult to acquire. Last year, her red lipstick advertisement went viral, making the point that red lipstick and acid are both easily accessible to consumers.

Unfortunately, acid attacks are common in India, and are often used as a form of abuse between spouses. According to statistics from Make Love Not Scars, 1000 Indian women are attacked with acid every year. These attacks are often the results of family disputes, perceived shame, or rejection. The vast majority of victims are girls under the age of 18 years old, and most perpetrators or male family members, spouses, or attempted suiters.

The work Reshma, Make Love Not Scars, and other advocates are doing is crucial in Bangladesh and India- where rates of attacks have increased sharply in the last few years. Though efforts have been made to regulate and track the sale of acid, they have so far been ineffective in curbing this epidemic.

Governments facing this epidemic must do more to curb the accessibility of acid and provide treatment to victims. Reshma’s advocacy has done a tremendous amount to shine a light on this issue, and put pressure on officials in power to do more.

Reshma has been inspiring individuals and governments all over the world, and we were so excited to see her walk for a cause in New York this fall!

Go here to learn more about the work FUTURES does to increase global violence prevention.

If You Think Child Marriage Doesn’t Exist in the US, Think Again.

Posted December 1, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

Each year, 15 million girls are married before the age of 18. That’s 28 girls every minute.

While most people are familiar with child marriage in Asia and Sub-Saharan Africa (where the practice is most common), few realize that child marriage is legal in many developed countries, including all 50 states. In fact, both the African country, Gambia, and the state of Virginia have something in common: they both outlawed child marriage earlier this month.

While that’s good news for both, we still find it outrageous that the practice is permitted anywhere, let alone the United States.

According a 2015 story in the NY Times, all U.S. states allow marriage to children below the age of 18, under one of three conditions: the minor is emancipated, he/she is 16 or older with parental consent, or a judge has approved the marriage. At least one of these conditions is legal in every state. In the case of a court approved marriage, there is often no limit on how young the child may be. Additionally, in cases of parental consent, there is no way to determine if the parent is allowing or coercing their child to marry, and typically no investigations are done.

Those who defend such laws in the U.S. argue that “parents should retain the right to decide if their children under the age of 18 should get married.” (see Daily Mail article) However, what the defenders of this law may not realize is that while “parents may know best” in many circumstances, parental self-interest, family honor, economic hardships, and familial coercion are often the drivers of these unions, rather than the “best interest” of the child. In fact, in most circumstances the young girls are not given the opportunity to freely express their wishes in private settings and away from their parents, where they can speak to a trained professional who is able to provide some guidance and assess the child’s genuine willingness. Unfortunately, most court clerks and public officials are not allowed to intervene.

Laws that prevent forced marriage are limited to nine states, usually only apply to women, and exclusively prevent marriages in which a woman is married against her will. Due to the complicated nature of coercion, teenage pregnancies, and cultural values that may motivate a child marriage, it’s not always clear if a child has been “forced”.

Thanks to ongoing efforts from Forced Marriage Initiative at the Tahirih Justice Centers in the US., the state of Virginia outlawed child marriage on July 1, 2016, with the exception of emancipated 16 and 17 year olds. Previous to this legislation, children as young as 13 were being married off by their parents.

According to the Virginia department of health, 4,500 children (defined as under the age of 18) were married there since 2004. Two hundred of these children were younger than 15. Perhaps the most shocking figure illuminated during this legislation’s discussion was that “13 children under age 15 were married to people more than 20 years older than them”.

Global Citizen reports that “In New Jersey… between 1995 and 2012… 163 marriages were approved by judges for children between ages 13 and 15. Ninety-one percent of these marriages were between a child and an adult. There is also data from New York State where “16 and 17-year-olds may wed with “parental consent” and 14- and 15-year-olds may wed with judicial approval. The data show that 3,853 children were married between 2000 and 2010.

The lack of scrutiny in the U.S. is alarming. We know that child marriage robs girls of every opportunity to thrive and can close the doors to education, independence, and health.

When Gambia ( where one in three girls is married underage), outlawed child marriage earlier this month, stating that no child under the age of 18 was to be married from that day forward, the punishment became up to 30 years in prison, both for the adult pursuing the marriage and the parents.

In other words, Gambia now has more protective laws that most American states.

How Pets are Caught in the Crossfire of Domestic Violence

Posted December 1, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

For the last 3 months, I have been on an apartment hunt. Living in the San Francisco bay area, I expect high rents, ridiculous deposits, and laughable waiting lists. You have to be the perfect tenant to even be considered.

What makes you the perfect tenant, you ask? You are never home, you have no friends, no car, limited belongings, and definitely no pet. I have spent months searching for a home for Lola, my four year old Maltese pup, and me – and I cannot even imagine how much more difficult it would be if I were a woman escaping a violent environment. Many shelters harbor similar restrictions to apartments, and unfortunately, many women feel even more trapped by these rules and regulations.

When it comes to the repercussions of domestic violence, few consider the complicated decisions and sacrifices many victims have to make in regard to their pets.

The unfortunate fact is that when a woman, man, or child becomes a victim of an abuser, family pets can become caught in the crossfire, and can be leveraged as pawns to trap and keep scared victims from leaving.

In fact, according to the American Humane Society, 25% of domestic violence victims return to an attacker because of concern for a pet. Additionally, 71% of domestic violence victims report their abuser threatened or harmed a family pet.

Thankfully, lawmakers are beginning to recognize the complicated reality for those experiencing violence- H.R. 1258, The Pet and Women Safety Act (PAWS) was introduced by Congresswomen Katherine Clark (D-MA) and Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL) to help address this issue.

Members of Congress are currently back in their home districts meeting with constituents. This is a great time to ask them where they stand on this legislation and encourage them to support it.

Congress will have just a few weeks when they return to Washington DC in September to pass legislation or it would have to be reintroduced into the new Congress.

Despite its lighthearted name, PAWS holds the potential for significant impact for victims of domestic abuse. If passed, PAWS would provide additional support for programs that assist abused women, and help these programs to provide assistance for victims’ companion animals. PAWS also works to include pets in major protective laws already in place, such as those that cover interstate stalking, protection orders, and civil suits.

Let’s make sure that Congress takes action on this legislation.

To learn more about resources for victims with pets, please look here.

Tackling Workplace Violence: A Recap of our #SaferAtWork Convening

Posted December 1, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

“You are an unmarried 28-year-old woman with one child, age 5. You and your daughter previously lived with your former partner, who is your daughter’s father, but you recently moved out and got your own place because of incidents of physical abuse. Your highest level of education attained is a high school diploma. Your job experience is primarily in the hospitality and janitorial industries, and you are currently employed at a hotel as a hotel room cleaner. The hotel is not unionized, but has the potential for union engagement.”

My voice quavered as I read those words aloud and asked more than 70 union leaders and workers’ rights advocates who attended Reimagining Workplace Safety to assume the role of a vulnerable woman worker. I knew that I was about to read unsettling descriptions of violence and exploitation arising from and affecting the workplace. And the expressions on the participants’ faces showed that they were already starting to empathize with the lack of options available to women who have no choice but to work for low wages and are particularly vulnerable to domestic violence, sexual violence, sexual harassment, and stalking both at the workplace and at home.

Futures Without Violence, United Way Worldwide, and the Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women found it crucial to first focus directly on the challenges of the women we seek to help before we could start exploring how union leaders, workers’ right advocates, health and safety experts, researchers, advocates against sexual and domestic violence, and advocates for gender, race, and economic justice can work together to organize and uplift vulnerable women workers. To bring those challenges into focus, I was given the task of facilitating our opening “Comings and Goings” exercise, where attendees were asked to assume the role of a vulnerable woman worker and walk through her impossible choices.

Would she attempt to enrich herself through a job advancement or associate degree program despite the challenges of limited resources and excessive costs, such as tuition, transportation, child care, and obtaining proof of citizenship? Could she tolerate remaining at a job where both her supervisor and customers sexually harass her and get away with it due to her lack of empowerment and recourse? Or would such exploitation force her to return to her abusive partner, where she and her young child fear for their safety and well-being?

Keeping her at the forefront of our minds, we spent the rest of the day developing solutions to make the workplace, where we spend most of our waking hours, a refuge of safety and empowerment for workers vulnerable to violence and exploitation.

Leaders from SEIU-USWW (West), Equal Rights Advocates, and the Maintenance Cooperation Trust Fund shared their methods to galvanize support for janitorial workers in California. Women who work in isolated worksites, or late at night, are particularly susceptible to workplace sexual violence, and benefit from targeted strategies that led to such victories as California’s passage of legislation requiring more transparency in the janitorial industry.

Linda Seabrook, FUTURES’ General Counsel, facilitated a panel featuring leaders in our Low Wage, High Risk Pilot Site Project. Panelists representing the Coalition of Immokalee Workers and the Restaurant Opportunities Center (ROC) demonstrated through their successes how high road employers and consumers are central to efforts to use the workplace as a vehicle to free women from violence. Engaging all stakeholders on the full range of the personal costs of producing and delivering the food, products, and services we all consume has sparked notable industry-led partnerships.

Labor leaders then examined the role that race and gender play in issues of sexual violence and economic justice and declared that all work going forward to lift up vulnerable women workers should have a gender or racial lens.

After learning more about the power of current research and data and refining communications strategies to deliver the message to wider audiences, we ended the day developing new collaborative organizing strategies, innovative research and regulatory ideas, and creative promising practices.

But our minds lingered on the 28-year-old hotel room cleaner and her predicament. And since I was among the less than ten men in the room, my mind lingered on the need for more men, especially those who are union leaders and members, to experience the “Comings and Goings” exercise and spend some time walking in the shoes of vulnerable women workers.

After all, violence against women is not just a women’s issue. It can affect everyone’s safety at the workplace, as well as severely impact the health, safety, and economic standing of entire families. We must address these issues together.

To learn more about Reimaging Workplace Safety, visit our Storify at http://ow.ly/mFNe304A0h8

Do the Work: Audrie & Daisy and Unlearning Toxic Masculinity

Posted December 1, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

Originally published on Medium. Dara Khan lives, works and writes in San Francisco. He writes essays, film reviews and weird fiction. You can find him on social media @palakchaval.

Audrie & Daisy is a documentary film that was just added to Netflix. It’s about the aftermath of sexual assault in the lives of two different high school students. It’s an important film and I think it’s worth watching and talking about.

Audrie Pott went to Saratoga High School in California, where I spent four vivid, difficult and beautiful years and forged deep, lifelong friendships. It is jarring to see familiar sights like the quad and the 200 wing and the football field as the backdrop of a story that ended so tragically.

But I think it would be a greater tragedy to turn away from this, and to consider her story an anomaly. I know that it’s not; I think we all know, really, that it’s not anomalous at all. The “elsewhere” where we think these things occur does not exist. It is everywhere, because sexual assault is a systemic problem.

Chances are we all know someone who has been sexually assaulted, and if we don’t, it’s likely that we’re simply not aware. Shame, denial and silence are how this crime festers.

This issue is worth educating ourselves about, and challenging our preconceptions about, and talking about in our communities. The alternative is that we fail the members of our village who most need our help, which means we’re disproportionately failing women, and young women especially.

For the guys, especially: We need to step it up. We can’t just wait until we have daughters of our own to realize that women are human beings, with the same inalienable personhood that we take for granted each day. This should not be an epiphany. But in our culture, the devaluing of women’s lives is a poisonous reality, and it’s one that we all play into and help to co-create.

I don’t want to be part of a masculinity that defines itself through violence, control and treating others as objects.

I reject that completely. I don’t have a clear answer about what should replace it, but I do know that I can’t accept the values of any social fabric that dehumanizes and trivializes the lives of my friends, family, neighbors and peers.

I also know that unlearning these values starts with myself, with challenging my own beliefs and blind spots. That’s something I’ve had to commit myself to in the years since high school, and doing so has put me in touch with a lot of inner ugliness. But it’s also allowed me to heal myself, day by day, of that ugliness.

Do the work. Whether that means watching a documentary or doing your own research, searching your soul or having conversations with partners and family and friends, do the work. Even if you think it doesn’t make a big difference in your life, chances are it will end up making all the difference in someone else’s.

To explore the educational materials Futures Without Violence developed to accompany Audrie & Daisy please go here.

SF Giants Team Up With Us to Shine a Light on High School Sexual Assault

Posted December 1, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

This Friday, September 23, don’t miss the premiere of a compelling new documentary called Audrie and Daisy on Netflix.

To kick-off the upcoming launch, we staged an unconventional but inspiring send-off with the help of the San Francisco Giants this past Sunday.

It was our 19th Annual Strike Out Violence Day at AT&T Park, and this year, the Giants hosted the courageous families of Audrie Pott and Daisy Coleman, the two young women who are featured in the new film about two teenagers from different parts of the county who were sexually assaulted by high school athletes they thought were their friends.

From the pre-game Coaching Boys Into Men workshop for high school coaches featuring Giants’ pitching greats Jeremy Affleldt and Vida Blue—to the emotional remarks of Daisy Coleman’s older brother Charlie, as he talked about his hopes for this film—and Jeremy’s reading of our RESPECT pledge—it was a memorable day for all.

As the stadium filled with fans, we stood on the field with Giants’ CEO Larry Baer, and the Pott and Coleman families, to share a moment of silence in honor of teenager Audrie Pott, who took her own life in the aftermath of video that was circulated by fellow students on social media.

Programs like our own Coaching Boys Into Men, in concert with films like Audrie & Daisy, and partners like the San Francisco Giants, have the potential to improve and save lives—one locker room, one school, and one community at a time.

5 Reasons Why Women’s Equality Benefits Everyone

Posted August 26, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

This year we celebrate Women’s Equality Day and come together to promote a more just and compassionate world for all. We know that gender inequality weakens families, societies, nations, and the world as a whole. Today, we take the opportunity to name 5 reasons that we must bridge the gap:

In developed countries, women receive more college degrees (and have higher IQs on average) than men, meaning that bridging the gap between male and female CEOs and political leaders may mean having more educated people in power. In the United States today, there are more CEOs named John than women CEOs in total; however, women in business have demonstrated that they are an asset as managers, investors, and leaders.

Countries that actively include women in the workforce have more economic growth than countries that don’t. The World Bank found that for every 1% increase in the population of girls educated, a country’s GDP increases by .3%. When economies grow, there are more employment opportunities, social services, and development for everyone to enjoy.

Companies managed by women report more motivated workers and higher productivity than those managed by men. Though the reasons why are still contested, a Gallup poll found that individuals with female managers were 6% more engaged than those with male leaders. Similar studies have found that women may be more affirming, and check in with their employees more often than male managers do, which results in motivation, interest, and higher productivity.

Women are smart investors, and studies show that they make better financial decisions than men. A seven-year study found that single female investors and female-led investment groups outperformed their male counterparts when it came to stock picking.

Countries that educate women have better economies, healthier citizens, and less violence than those that don’t. Evidence shows that when girls are educated, economies improve, both because of their new ability to enter the skilled workforce and because educated women raise educated children. Investing in women is investing in the future economy, and workforce. Beyond the financial motivations, each additional year of girls’ education lowers infant mortality by 5-10%. The amount of families in poverty also decreases, as educated women wait longer to get married and have fewer children.

A LETTER TO MY FOUR YOUNG DAUGHTERS: YOU ARE CAPABLE OF ANYTHING

Posted August 18, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

a letter to four daughters

Francine Nabintu, an activist from the DRC, is a McCain Institute/ Next Generation Leadership fellow who just completed her one-year assignment at FUTURES.

After reading about the American gymnast Simone Biles’ achievement in Rio during the Olympic Games, and her passion that started from an early age, I couldn’t help but question my daughters’ visions. When their cousin asked them what they would like to become when they grow up, one of my four daughters said that she would like to run a restaurant. I kept quiet for a while, wondering who might have inspired her, thinking about all the big restaurants she had been to. I was about to ask the reason why she made that choice, when suddenly another voice added, “Who would like to become an engineer?” My girls looked at their brother and responded in a joint statement, “That’s a boys field.” I then understood that the choice of running a restaurant had nothing to do with passion, but simply a narrow vision perceived through a gendered lens.

To My Girls:

I know that you are excited about this once in a lifetime opportunity that arose for me. When I was a young girl, I never knew what going to an office in the USA would mean. The only thing I had heard about it was from a Congolese woman whose organization headquartered in D.C. She said ”Americans don’t talk in the office. You have to email a person sitting in front of you because you are not supposed to disturb others.” Upon my arrival in the USA, I not only noticed that the conception was wrong, but I also learned to say “no thanks.” Honesty is a part of the American culture.

Remember the first day I went to the office? I brought you with me. We were all amazed by the beauty and size of the office, the fresh air in the Presidio of San Francisco, and the Golden Gate Bridge view. But, our surprise was even bigger later in the day as we started meeting Futures’ staff. “Only one man!”, whispered your brother. Yes, this should be strange visiting such a huge office where women held key positions. I never told you that women could not run offices, but what you saw around you spoke louder than words. The game, songs, exercises, reprimand or mockery that you see, hear, and endure on daily basis send you a message about what you are supposed to be as a man or a woman.

That experience you had that day was enough to start questioning society’s expectations for men and women.

I have met so many people in the USA who didn’t know about the Democratic Republic of Congo that I decided not to mention the DRC in my introduction anymore, but simply say “I am from Africa.” However, I met incredible people who care about the Congolese-specifically, the women and girls in the DRC. I was touched by one woman advocate who made a donation to survivors of Eastern DRC; she gave all of her tax return and what she had saved for her annual vacation, even though she has never been to Congo. I was so impressed by the hard work of the people I have been lucky to work with. Even when things seem to be all right or perfect from my point of view, my coworkers were not satisfied with a little injustice or violence.

Even in the USA with its strong institutions, equal opportunities are something people are still fighting for. This means that it is our responsibility to work harder to make the DRC a better place to be a woman. We must at least change the narrative that it is “the worst place to be a woman in the world.”

Dream bigger, don’t let any poor perceptions limit your visions.

Pursue your dreams, even when nobody believes in you due to your gender, race, or background.

Slowly, but surely, things are moving. I am persuaded that you will have greater opportunities and a brighter future than my generation.

-Francine

8 #RelationshipGoals You Should Really Want

Posted July 26, 2016 by Kyle Coleman

An S.O. who lifts you up and reminds you how awesome you are when you really need to hear it

Being in a relationship should feel good, not anxious or stressful! Your significant other is someone you can go to for support and to help you overcome challenges you’re facing. While people in our lives push us to be the best people we can be, a partner in a healthy relationship accepts and loves you for the person you are today.

Having a safe place to vent and share your feelings

Being in a healthy relationship means having really great communication, which encompasses a lot of different things. Communicating can mean negotiating and finding mutually beneficial solutions to arguments, but it can also mean feeling comfortable sharing with your partner. So at the end of a long day, you should count of your partner to be there and listen – and vice versa!

Being with someone who will sweep you off your feet, not step on them

Good partners recognize that they are a part of your life – not your entire life. The person you are with should encourage you and always give you the space you want and need. Even more than that, having a significant other should never mean that you have to give up relationships with your friends or family. Your partner is there to make your life even better, not take people away from it.

Feeling totally cool saying no, and really excited when you want to say yes!

Every relationship has different expectations, but one thing is for certain: you should only be doing things with your partner that you are 100 percent comfortable with and ready for. Intimacy can be a great part of your relationship, and it can help you connect with your partner. Healthy partners communicate often and always check in when they think you might be uncomfortable. People who love you don’t pressure you or shame you for not doing what they want.

Having your friends and family support your relationship as much as you do

If your friends and family tell you that your relationship isn’t healthy, you should probably listen. That means that when the people you love most in your life are as excited about your partner as you are, it is an awesome sign! It’s important not to isolate yourself with your partner and to connect with the many aspects and people in each other’s lives.

When your S.O. knows that binge watching 3 seasons of GOT in a week doesn’t mean you love them less

Sometimes you just need alone time. Whether alone time means tea, chocolate, Netflix, Tumblr, yoga, hiking, or anything you need to recharge, it is totally OK to take care of yourself. People in relationships support each other, and sometimes that support means giving your partner space so they can enjoy their hobbies and passions.

Being with someone who knows your texts are for your eyes only, and is totally cool with it

You should never feel pressured to give your partner your passwords, or access to 1your phone, computer, or anything private. Healthy relationships are built on trust and mutual respect, not suspicion and background checks. You should feel confident that you can hang out with friends, leave your phone unattended, or have someone post on your Facebook wall without getting the third degree!

Your choices – like what you wear and where you go – are yours to make

It’s not cool when someone dictates how you should dress, whether they overtly tell you or use more subtle tactics like shaming or passive aggressively making comments. The same goes for the choices you make in where you go or what you choose to do. This is your life, and a partner who respects you will be happy when you live it on your terms.

For more on healthy relationships, visit www.thatsnotcool.com.